guilty eating

The Guilt That Comes With Eating

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Like every girl I’ve questioned “Do I look fat in this” that is okay and pretty normal. However, when I was 16 I got into a phase of being very unhappy with my body. Prior to my 16th year I never had any issue with my body. Constantly I looked at my body in a negative light. Next, I began to compare my body to celebrity’s that were the same size as me. This was done to see if they looked pretty in the same sized clothes as me. I decided to make a change.

The ‘Diet’

I decided that I wanted to lose weight. I thought of the most logical way to do this, which was to cut out junk food completely. After doing this I really enjoyed people telling me “you look great, have you been on a diet?” this became very appealing to me. Since I felt so bad about my weight prior to this. I decided to up my game and cut out a few meals, I’d skip lunch or breakfast and snack on small foods. This eventually led me to feel guilty when I ate any food including meals. I became obsessed with counting calories and it was all I could think about anytime I sat down to have food.

Eventually, I noticed my hair wasn’t as strong as it use to be and it appeared to be breaking off and leaving me feeling more concerned about my hair than my weight. I decided to ask a pharmacist’s advice on what I should do and she recommended I take silica supplements.

Blackouts?

My next concern about my weight loss methods surfaced. I got up out of my bed one morning everything went black and I couldn’t see for a split second. This eventually worsened and I couldn’t see for a longer period of time each morning. I decided to start eating healthy foods such as; foods rich in iron so basically any green leafy veggies and red meat. I realised that breakfast was very important for the metabolism to get it started for the day. Especially for weight loss.

Once I began eating healthy foods regularly my next step was to feel stronger. I decided to join a zumba class because I thought this would be an easy way to get into exercising. I recommend zumba to anybody who is a bit shy and uncomfortable exercising in front of others. The class you are in are all facing one way and nobody looks at you. You can also take it at your own pace in zumba. On top of all this it is very fun getting to dance along to upbeat songs to motivate you.

I began feeling more normal and the issues I was having all seemed to vanish leaving me losing weight in a healthy way!

Important lesson

  • I learned from all this that balance is very important in any diet and you should not deprive yourself of nice treats regardless of your diet. A small treat now and then won’t blow your diet.
  • Comparing yourself to other people’s body’s is not the way to go. We are all shaped differently and you have to learn to love your shape.
  • Take the media with a pinch of salt. The media puts pressure on people to look certain way and be a certain size. Models have to be certain heights and weights to be accepted into the model industry to sell clothing to people who do not reach these requirements. It isn’t logical and neither is trying to take on the build of a body that isn’t possible with your shape.

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