The Irritated Millennials Guide To Avocado


A few months back Tim Gurner, a luxury property developer in Melbourne faced heat for comments he made on 60 Minutes in Australia, implying that young people can’t afford to buy property because they’re wasting money on fancy toast and overpriced coffee. At the other side of the world in Ireland, the renowned “millennials” are given very little prospect of ever owning their own home let alone the hefty deposit that Gurner talks about. If, like me, you have sacrificed your future for some smooth and buttery goodness I have compiled a small list of other great uses for avocado other than “$22 a pop avocado toast.” Especially if you belong to the broke student narrative, drowning in a sea of economic disruption and lack of self-confidence.


– Avocado Daiquiri –

“Drink to forget the massive gaping hole in our economy and the immense property bubble that accompanies it.”



4 oz rum (a mix of gold and silver is best)

1/4 medium-ripe avocado

1/2 oz half-and-half

1/4 oz fresh lemon or lime juice

2 oz simple syrup (equal parts sugar and water)

1 1/2 c ice cubes

Combine the ingredients and blend until smooth.


– Fruit and Veggie Smoothie –

This recipe for a smoothie (containing avocado) will keep your nutrition levels fairly stable as you struggle to eat after paying rent for the 6th month in a row.



1 med apple, peeled, cored, and sliced

1/3 ripe avocado

1/2 c frozen spinach

1/2 c low-fat plain yogurt

1/2 c pasteurized egg whites

1/4 c raspberries (frozen or fresh)

1/4 c water

Ice cubes

In a blender, combine all of the ingredients until smooth and creamy.


– Avocado Face Mask –

Being a poor student trying to get through a challenging degree and figuring out if there is even the slightest chance of gaining employment in your chosen discipline can be rather stressful. Stress = breakouts! You may not have any future prospects because neoliberalism makes you feel that way but at least you can go through it all with flawless skin.



1/2 ripe avocado

1 whole egg

1 Tbsp Greek yogurt

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp lemon juice

1 Tbsp coconut oil (optional)

Combine all ingredients in blender and process for 30 seconds. Apply immediately to clean skin. Leave on 5-10 minutes until you feel mask start to tighten and dry. Rinse with warm water. Gently dry face and apply daily face moisturizer to damp skin.


– Egg Baked in Avocado –

For those who don’t know how to navigate cutting an avocado; run the knife around the seed, twist and separate and puck the seed out with the knife. Mind those fingers.


Cut an avocado in half. Scoop out a hole a little bigger than the one left by the seen. Crack a raw egg into it. Bake or microwave, bit of pepper and hey presto.


– Avocado Pesto –

Taste and adjust seasonings to taste and use as you would regular pesto. Spread it on toast, stir through pasta, eat it by the spoonful because you have no money to eat for the week, spoon over grilled chicken/steak/fish. Store in a sealed, airtight container in the fridge.


1/2 cup of any pesto

1/2 a ripe avocado

A squeeze of lemon juice

Salt and pepper to your taste

Scoop the flesh from your avocado and place into your blender/food processor and blend until deliciously smooth.

Add your pesto, lemon juice and  a pinch of salt and pepper to your avocado puree then blend/process until just combined.



If you are choosing to live on avocado for the rest of your life then you might as well be adventurous! You can also refer to this Buzzfeed article for more cool tips. If you would like to learn how to grow your own avo tree, click here. You know… just in case you become completely broke.